I'm bored.

I so quickly lose interest. I don't even have the patience or the desire to let people around me know me. I miss being around the people that bring out all my best traits. Like my friends from camp... I miss being goofy and telling the world who I am, and why I am. Somewhere along the way my understanding of Christ's desire to intimately know me became fuzzy next to my own desperation to be desired. People get in the way so easily.. Patience has escaped me and I am forgetting to only chase after my Maker and nothing else. I can't let myself become something or someone I'm not just to feel loved. I am loved!!! Sooo loved.

I have found truth, and I know truth, but somedays I don't accept it nor understand it. I justify my doubt with the idea that this is truth is not tangible... I can't touch it and I often cannot feel it. Absurd. I see truth everyday and can feel it with every breath I take. I have found romance. I know it.. but equally choose to give people credit for real romance and search for it within. How tragic. My Romancer embraces me with love daily.

Right now, no one can know me because my only definition is from the one who defined every feature I have-- my personality, my beauty, my heart. If I'm not seeking to refine myself every morning in Him then I am blur to everyone around me. I am concealed..

Lord I desire the patience to know and understand in a deeper way.. give me patience and strength to allow others to see beyond the buried identity and into your heart.

I am so thankful to be in a place where I can openly seek Him, know Him, and share Him. So how could I hold back???