Welcome to a "distinctively Christian college".

I've only been out of class for 24 minutes.

In Missiology class (yes, a real class) we watched a video about 3 missionaries answering a call to serve a people group.. to live and breath their culture, to understand their way of life, to spend 7 years learning their heart language... all before attempting to share the gospel. At first I was thinking, umm.. shouldn't they hurry and tell these people about Jesus?! But it all made sense.. how can you express spiritual matters through an interpretor? How can you reach a people when you don't understand why they do what they do?

The teachers/missionaries finally got to share the gospel.. All by starting in Genesis.. literally working their way through the entire Bible- waiting to even say the name of Jesus until the story of His birth. Because of this beautiful story people's eyes were opened and light was shed on a morbid society.

So here's my thought, dilemma, question, fear, dream, you name it: Moving. I'm not just talking about across the country (I've conquered that one.), but really moving.. not just my stuff and my body.. but my heart, passion, goal, EVERYTHING.. far. I've been inching my way towards this call since I was 13 years old-- 8 years later the deep-cutting desire (and even bigger fear) is STILL tugging. I keep thinking, " Lord, come on, I'll go overseas for a few weeks at a time, isn't that enough??" But I really feel Him saying.. "Drench yourself in an understanding of my people- so that when I am revealed to them, they will get it- so that I can be Glorified." Umm, now how can I not do something He specifically tells me to do.

This is just hard. Real hard. Short term excites me.. gives me a thrill like no other. Long term- scares the mess out of me.

As for today... I am going to Greece in May to share the name of Jesus with the Roma people- a people that is outcasted- a pathetic display of humanity- filthy- sinful- barely human- or at least according to the society they live in. The beauty found in the wounds will be revealed.. not as pain, but as bandaging.

So. Do I want to be comfortable or committed?

Expect another blog today... the heart is heavy.. and the only way to leviate some of the agony is to write and talk to my best friend. Praying for discernment..