Happy Birthday Grandpa!

Just dabbling in my old words I cannot help but feel the emergence of that "half-smile"... mostly out the humor I find in maturity... of just my simple words. If only words could always be so simple, so sweet... I find myself resting against this object of my heart, all my affections are geared towards this one Love... I am so embraced, and so genuinely greatful for the mire and the mess I've been pulled out of. What a solid rock I know have!

It's been ages since I have taken the time to write in this place-- but words are everywhere else in my life. Promise.

So today, September 25th, 2008, my grandpa's 80th birthday.
~~~Everyone has their staple image of love. For me, creation. God shows His vast love through this world... the beauty that dwells above-the sky, painting many colors, giving light, marking the moment of wake and rest... the breezes.. the change of the seasons, crisp, autumn leaves- brisk, cold winds.. I mean, who couldn't sit here all day and think of their favorite moment in nature. All attributes of our awesome Creator, of course.

But when it comes to the affections of His love-- the actual feeling and emotion part-- more than anything, He uses His people, created out of His own image, to give us a glimpse into the depths of His great love for us.

I would be foolish to say that I haven't experienced and understood to deeper measures than any other human has ever given, than by my grandfather-- the true meaning of love.
-The self-lessness that he forefronts, always.
-The wisdom he gives because he so desperately wants to us all succeed.
-The ear he is always willing to be (even if you have to wake him up a few times).
-Watching him with grandma- Yes, you can still tell after 50-something years grandpa loves her!
-My favorite-- watching grandpa hold one of the little ones. Wow. The look on his face is priceless, his world couldn't be more perfect than when he is holding one of the grandkids.
-And though he may not notice... Sunday dinners. Grandpa looks around the room full of chatter and laughter-- and you can see his eyes swell up with tears, and his lip quivers (that he thinks no one sees).. He LOVES this family. With his whole heart :-)

Taking us back one year today-- the entire family gathered-- the first in my twenty years of life for this to happen. Grandpa had a heart attack.. and there was so much uncertainty ahead. An unspoken anxiety, with tears that couldn't be held back, and fear consumed most of us in that hospital waiting room. Some of us took the role of the strong, confident shoulders .. not giving much attention to emotion. Others were the weakened knees, while some graciously took the role of the fragile, careful hands holding us all together. But, I believe one role was and is certain of that day-- Grandpa was the heart of that moment. I really believe God added days to grandpa's life for a reason.. we still have a lot of learning and loving to do!

Grandpa is but a mere vessel displaying to our family how and when and to what lengths you must love.

Grandpa, your life is so precious.. and meaningful to more people than you will ever imagine. I love you! Thankyou for showing me how to be self-less.. giving.. listening.. hard-headed.. humble.. and loving:-)