Christmas!!!!

What a trying couple of months it has been... The unmeasurable amount of questions that have occupied my mind. I feel like I have often looked cold or bitter... so much confusion and lack of understanding. Fortunately, I realize this is not a sign of weakness or small faith, but indeed I have pulled through stronger and blazen with passion.

I am about to leave for China in 2 days.. yes, only 2 days! I keep thinking I am not prepared.. finals are binding me down, I'm moving, plus I have to pack! I want to be stressed, I feel like I should be stressed, but surprisingly a sense of peace has just covered me. It was actually in the midst of listening to a Christmas song:)

It really is more than a story, or some beautiful fairy tale.. I cannot even conceive the feelings of a young girl, being told she was about to birth the Savior of the world. The fear she must have felt... Bearing God's only son-- the gift for the world-- that set me free. This is what this season is all about. His nail-pierced hands, the wounds that lay open with my sin. How can I begin to want anything for myself knowing that the world is dying because they do not know of this gift??? I cannot be more grateful than to spend the next couple weeks retelling this story... and creating a portrait of my beautiful Savior.

I don't deserve any of this.